The Thing About Valentines Day...

My oldest is going to a friends house to watch movies

and have fun with a bunch of girls that don't have valentines

themselves and commiserate with each other.

So much pressure and stress about Valentine's Day.

I don't know if it's just that I'm getting older

but Valentine's Day means something
 different to me now than ever before.

I care more about the days in between each Valentine's Day.

I am the first to admit love can be challenging 

(certain things can bug and annoy me
and I know I am not always a picnic of roses---

life can be difficult, hard

and seemingly impossible to navigate)

but it can be beautiful, sweet and wonderful too.

It's in the everyday

that means so much to me.

It's the way he tries to make us all laugh

after a difficult moment
that touches me.

Or the way he works hard by

going into work early in the morning

and working long hours

to provide for us

that really matter.

It's the way he will pick up

a rotisserie chicken, french bread and a Cesar salad in a bag

from the store again, and again,

without complaining.
It's the way he will fold clothes with me or for me.

It's the way he looks at me

as if we haven't been married

for 27 years

and he hasn't seen me in the worst possible light
(and I mean that in so many ways).

It's the way he whispers "I'm sorry" in my ear.

It's not really about bringing me flowers 

or what ever else I thought I needed

(although, it's nice when he does bring me those things)

but it's by the way he shows me 

each and every single day 

 that he loves me more now than he ever did before.

I feel a complicated mix of contentment,
happiness, gratitude, humility, love,
and the determination to be better.
This is what I want for Valentine's Day.