Monday, March 4, 2013
Life can be dangerous.
It really freaks me out.
I've been thinking about that.
I've been thinking about a lot of other things lately.
Life can be terrifying.
I know it can be beautiful too. Just like the photos I try to take of the beautiful world around me. It inspires me. It helps me think of more than the terrifying, the tragic, and just the difficulties of every day life.
Life can be so hard sometimes.
I know things could be worse for me (I know there is much that is good too) but what I do try to deal with every day sometimes pushes me to the edge of sanity and I'm trying to stay as far away from that edge as possible.
I don't know of anyone with a perfect marriage, perfect job, perfect life, perfect children, or a perfect combination with none or some of those scenarios.
The irony of the name of my blog: Not even close to empty, doesn't escape me. I thought it was clever at one time but it really is just ironic to me, in so many ways.
I don't know if we will ever be "empty" Nester's. I've learned to be ok with that.
I don't like to fill the gas tank with gas. I often would see how close to empty I could go and when I would fill that tank up and see how close I really got I'd do a little victory dance in my head (the last two times I ran out of gas was over 10 years ago. I didn't want to get "that" close ever again--- just close enough for that "victory dance").
That's not a safe or even wise practice with anything in life.
The saying about "my cup runneth over" I get. I always want to remember my blessings. That "cup" will never be empty. I have much to be thankful for. The trick is to remember. This blog is part reminder of that very thing.
The saying about "filling your cup and take care of yourself" feels the most ironic to me and the one that scares me the most. It's the one that I don't ever want to "go beyond that point". The reason why I'm getting help and trying to stay afloat.
There is no shame (or at least there shouldn't be) in admitting I have (and I am fighting) depression. I know I am not the only one out there.
If you need help, don't be afraid and get help!
Most of all, remember to be kind to others, including yourself!