Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Bravery

Davis started hearing voices when he was 10.
After trying several different medications we finally found a mix that helps him
but every once in awhile he will hear voices again.
Not only is he high functioning Autistic
 he also deals with pervasive anxiety
and occasional psychotic episodes.
The last couple of weeks he has been hearing voices again
and he hears it almost all day long.
Sometimes they tell him what to do
and it's usually not good things.
He tries very hard to ignore the voices.
Usually it's a bunch of voices that he can't understand.
 It's a loud and jumbled mess and by the end of the day 
when things are winding down and he is no longer busy 
and no longer distracted by whats going on around him
he has difficulty calming down 
and all that cacophony makes his head hurt.
The doctor made a change with the medicine
and until that can help 
he is trying to function at school and else where
with the bravery of a warrior.
Last night at school they held a Make a Wish fundraiser for a little boy.
Each club at school had a table and gave away food, dessert or candy.
Davis is the President of the Gold Panning club
and he wanted to be there for this activity.
The halls were brimming with people from the community
wanting to help this little boy with his wish.
Davis usually has difficulties with hallways filled with people
but Davis wanted to help this little boy and participate with the other clubs.
He excitedly and bravely stood by to mark the punch cards of people that came by his table.
I marveled at him as he tried so hard to be there for two whole hours
(and for coming a little early to set up)
with the noise and bustle of all those people walking, talking and laughing.
Finally the night was over and we went home and he slowly got ready for the night.
He once again asked if I could tuck him in and talk with him as he tries to fall asleep.
He moans in pain and is restless
(he complains of his head hurting but describes it as not a pain that can be helped with Tylenol
but a pain in his head caused by so many voices that's just too much).
This night he doesn't ask me,
like he has on other nights,
how to make the voices stop or what he can do to make them stop.
He finally tells me I can go and says to turn off the light
(with the small glow of a night light to give some comfort).
He's ready to drift off to sleep.
In the morning he's ready to try once again,
to take on the day.

1 comment:

Kim K. said...

Your sweet boy. As I wipe away the tears, please know that I'm thinking of you both.