Friday, December 16, 2011

Milestone.

Today is a significant day in our life and the life of our youngest son. A day that we didn't even think about for most of his life. A day that we dressed up in our Sunday best but not a day that we went out to celebrate.
Today we became legal guardians for our youngest son at age 18.
It's not a day that we imagined during those long 18 years when we felt something was different and for most of those years no one could quite put a finger on what exactly was the problem.
It's not a day that we dreamed about when we looked at a bright future filled with many possibilities for our son with brown hair and big blue eyes.
I don't know what Davis thinks about today. Yes, he knew why we were there. He knew we met with a lawyer weeks ago for this very same day. On Wednesday he was there and talked with his very own lawyer who represented him today at the courthouse. He didn't complain when I set out his church clothes to wear this morning for school. He has asked us about this day for months. We've talked and talked about it and he says he understands.
I'm not sure I understand it all.
Today feels like a significant milestone that I can't cry about, complain about or feel like celebrating. A day that feels so far removed from Christmas, twinkling lights and presents under the tree.
I knew we could have had it worse when I saw the blond haired girl that was in the wheelchair that Davis knew and had pushed her wheelchair to a seminary class at school last year. She saw Davis and weakly lifted her hand up and smiled at him but is unable to speak. Davis wanted to go and introduce himself to her parents to tell them he knew her.  He did eagerly and easily. I could see and hear them as they asked why he was there. I only saw Davis as he matter-of-factly told them he too was there because of guardianship. We were all summoned into the courtroom and we all had to wait our turns.
There were many other people in the courtroom waiting for their brief important meeting with the judge and waiting for that important legal paper with that red legal and binding stamp.
I was grateful for what Davis is able to do and that he is capable of so much more. I was grateful that we weren't there for a child in trouble with the law. I was grateful for Jeff and that we were both there together for Davis. I know I have a lot to be grateful for.
It is sobering to think of the years ahead and the responsibility on our shoulders to care for such a child. Will we get it right? What if something happens to us? What do we need to do to ensure that someone will be able to take care of him for life? So many thoughts, questions and feelings.
I was touched by the lawyer telling us that what we were doing was a truly Christian act and that the law couldn't force us to take care of him. However, it never occurred to us that we would or could do it any differently.
Today is such a big day with no fanfare or mourning but a day marked by an official red stamp.

3 comments:

Kim K. said...

I'm wiping away the tears. Such a huge day for your family, Cheryl. Sending you lots of (((hugs))).

Cheryl G. said...

Kim, you are so sweet to say so!

Mark said...

Such nice words, like poetry. Don´t care, God will protect your son all his life. I will pray for you.